Social Workers as Writers: An Interview with Emma Lauer, LCSW
As a fan of dialectical behavior therapy, I’m so excited for the opportunity to interview clinical social worker Emma Lauer about her new book DBT Skills for Highly Sensitive People (New Harbinger, 2023).
Tell me about how you first learned about DBT.
I graduated with my MSW in the spring of 2017, and shortly afterward got my first job as a children's therapist at Devereux, a national nonprofit that serves low-income families and foster children. I worked at Devereux's outpatient clinic. Around the time that I started, Devereux was working to create a DBT program for outpatient clients. There's so much evidence backing DBT as not only being incredibly helpful for clients' healing but also for keeping clients out of the hospital, so there was a lot of enthusiastic support for Devereux's new DBT program. Devereux paid to send a small team of therapists and one clinical supervisor to Philadelphia to participate in the Treatment Implementation Collaborative (TIC)'s Jumpstart DBT training as part of this initiative. I didn't know much at all about DBT before applying to go, just that it's very practical and skills-based, and I figured that it was a good place to start as a new therapist. I fell in love with it that week.
How do clients know if they are highly sensitive?
I would ask someone to consider: when you feel your emotions, do they feel disproportionately intense? Do you have deep empathy for others? Are you sensitive to your environment? For example, if the mood in the room is somber, or joyful, does it quickly impact your mood? Do you easily pick up on subtle cues in your environment? Do you get overwhelmed easily? It's also worth noting that Dr. Aron has a self-test on her website.
Does "highly sensitive" also mean emotionally sensitive?
The Highly Sensitive Person (or HSP for short) is emotionally sensitive, but also more than that. Dr. Elaine Aron coined "HSP" based on her research as a psychologist. Aron defines HSP as: "having a sensitive nervous system, being aware of subtleties in his/her environment, and being more easily overwhelmed when in a highly stimulating environment." In my book, I address both HSP and people who are generally emotionally sensitive, and I mostly focus on the emotional sensitivity aspect of being an HSP.
What does DBT have to offer for individuals who are highly sensitive?
DBT has tons of practical tools for helping people deal with painful and intense emotions, and HSPs are more likely to feel overwhelmed by their intense emotions. DBT also helps people learn to give themselves validation, learn the importance of their emotions and what their emotions are trying to tell them. DBT helps people "make friends with their emotions," as I like to say.
What are your favorite DBT skills?
Gosh, it's so hard to choose. I talk to my clients all the time about "checking the facts." I also love teaching self-validation. There's a whole chapter about it in my book. I also love reviewing the ACCEPTS acronym with my clients to help make sure they have a large toolbox of coping skills to pick from.
What wisdom do you have for DBT clients who don't like being highly sensitive and are rejecting that part of themselves?
First, I want clients to know what their unique strengths are as a sensitive person. I go over this in detail in the first few chapters of my book. DBT teaches that emotionally sensitive people are creative and intuitive, and make great leaders. I wrote in my book that "with big feelings comes big passion." That passion can be contagious and is a wonderful gift for the people around you. Your deep empathy also helps make you a great friend, partner, parent. I could go on and on.
Second, I would ask clients to consider what rejecting that part of themselves is perhaps costing them. For example, emotions that aren't dealt with have a way of "coming out sideways," as I like to say. Making friends with your emotions and trying to work with them rather than against them just makes everything so much easier.
What is your favorite skill or idea from your book that you share again and again?
I focus a lot on self-validation in my work as a therapist. It was probably my favorite chapter to write in the book. I also love the distress tolerance skills and the idea that people can ride the wave of their emotions, even the most intense and most painful, without acting on them. The idea that we can feel the full intensity of our emotions, which is our birthright, and it won't kill us or hurt us, and we might even learn from our emotions, is very powerful.
What advice do you have for social work students and recently graduated social workers who want to learn more about DBT?
Read, and practice! And sign up for a training if you can. Buy some books on DBT and practice as much as you can with your clients. Ask your agency or practice if you can run a DBT skills group. Teaching is the best way to learn, as they say. I also highly recommend Marsha Linehan's memoir, Building a Life Worth Living. And, it's extremely important to have a team of colleagues you trust. This is true in any area of social work, but especially when treating personality disorders and suicidal clients, it's vital to have colleagues for support that you can talk to and staff things with and bounce ideas around.
What are you currently reading or listening to?
Right now I'm reading a biography on Fred Rodgers. I watched his show as a kid and he inspires me as both a therapist and new mom. He wasn't perfect, but I'm pleased to learn that he was about as wonderful in real life as he seemed on TV. I read about a book a week. You can follow me on Goodreads!
What's next for you as a clinician?
One of my biggest upcoming projects, and the one I'm looking forward to the most, is becoming an EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant. I'm currently a Consultant-in-Training. EMDR is another modality that I'm very passionate about. I've been EMDR trained for 4 years and certified for 2 years. Being an EMDR Consultant marries my love of teaching with my love for EMDR so I'm very excited to be taking consultees.
Congratulations Emma! You can find Emma’s book on Amazon.com and Amazon.ca.